Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
