My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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