Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
