You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
