dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize