I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
