he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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