If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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