He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
