So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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