I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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