So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize