Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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