I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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