your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
