i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
