no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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