he shaved USA in his pubs
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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