i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
don't judge my taste in strippers
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
