My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
