they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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