This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
