why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
