So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
