drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I will be naked everywhere
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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