I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
accomplished twins. life is a go
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
