Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
