I think my fart just growled at me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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