it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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