i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
