I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
