i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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