We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
