I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
