My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
no, he came in my armpit
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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