you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
