We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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