honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
