garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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