I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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