Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
