I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
