I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
