I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
