Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
