Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
