The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
