The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
