Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
