Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize