O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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