I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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