that's an acceptable place to lick
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
