he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
