take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
