if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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