If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
nut hugger
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
