i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
