Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
