how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
