i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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